paige42986's Blog

Why I rescue

As I am sitting here watching the story of Nitro for the millionth time it has got me to thinking that it was because of him  I started adovacting for more stringent laws for animal abuse but it went from there I got involved with rescue and I will never ever regret it. You see some of the most horrid things a person can do to an animal some you can save some you can not but the ones you do save leave a lasting impression on you,but nitro was the main reason i got involved in the animal rescue movement~ Nitro couldn't be saved but his death was not in vain we worked so hard for the law in his name and last year after 5 years of tireless effort and work may phone calls and e-mails and the back and forth from some of the repersentaives who wouldn't vote for this our dream came true Nitro's Law was passed~ Precious Nitro you gave me so much your death was not in vain! You made a whole lot of important people sit up and take notice of the way the animal abusers got away with it! Nitro my precious friend i love and miss you so much! I am a very proud member of your army and I love you and we all in your name continue to make sure all acts of animal abuse get felony status!  I rescue in your name Nitro because we couldn't help you. As your dad said Nitro wasn't republican or democrat he was my boy! I know that I would not be doing what I am today if it wasn't for Nitro and his horrific death! Till the day I die he will not be forgotten!
          I rescue because if we stand by and do nothing when someone abuses an animal then we are as bad as the abuser! I may not be able to save all but the one I can help makes all of the horrid stuff I see a little bit better!

The whole story of Nitro

itro lived the typical suburbia >New York life with his doting family and litter mate, Bella. A family that cooked scrambled eggs for breakfast for them, labored with love on sewing holiday costumes, including them as members of their family in celebrations, vacations, and the many activities of life; a life any dog would be fortunate to live. It was obvious from the beginning, Nitro was the classic, determined Rottie with a high working drive and High Caliber K9 came highly recommended through Nitro's breeder as a positive outlet and focus for him to be the best dog he could be. 

Steven S. Croley, the owner of High Caliber K9 appeared to be the charismatic, gifted dog whisperer and Nitro's family did all the necessary tasks ensuring his background was genuine and without blemish, including an 8 hour drive to be guests of Croley at his facility with impressive results. For 2.5 years a successful working relationship and bond soon developed with Croley and naturally a friendship quickly followed including social engagements and outings with all the makings of a trusted alliance. 

When a critical medical emergency developed, Nitro's family found themselves in a dilemma of commuting for long periods of time back and forth to New Jersey putting a strain on the pets in their home. Nitro being highly protective proved this to be increasingly stressful on him.

Croley's facility and program of a summer dog camp seemed to be the perfect solution. Not only would he be safe with someone they thought they knew and trusted but Nitro could also work on his training in a secure and safe environment. Nitro was a very reserved dog and not inclined to trust easily and naturally any lingering doubts they might have had regarding Croley had dissolved long ago, since Nitro thrived in Croley's presence and doting attention. This combined with their successful 2.5-year history with Croley only reinforced he was trustworthy. They would  never have thought in a million years they could and would be so utterly and devastatingly wrong.

Croley's many different versions of his account of what took place are not only conflicting but unclear and to this day he has yet to openly acknowledge his self-absorbed criminal actions and remorse for the unspeakable suffering which he was responsible for. The suffering of these dogs was not out of sight and out of mind; Croley lived on the same property of the kennels and the training area was his own backyard. He was meticulous about the grounds always displaying freshly-cut grass even while the dead carcasses of dogs were decaying in the kennels in the back. Alleged drug use is reported to have been the motivating factor in robbing these dogs of the basic necessities of life with the  >moneypaid to ensure their care instead being used to feed an alleged drug addiction.    

A further crime and travesty of justice occurred after the original crime; Croley was originallycharged on 19 counts of animal cruelty for starving 19 dogs, 8 of which died with only>misdemeanor provisions and penalties regardless of the severity of this crime, courtesy of Ohio's outdated legislation. To top this off, due to a legal technicality 15 of those original 19 charges were dropped and Nitro's life was one of them. Croley was charged just 4 counts of misdemeanor animal cruelty and was granted a plea bargain sentencing him to only 4 months in county jail with 13 days credited already having been served. He was released on Mother's Day 2009.

Ohio continues to rank at the bottom of animal protection legislation. The degradation of our Nation as a whole by the state of Ohio continues into the 21st century and only through legislation that allows for prosecution of animal cruelty with stronger penalties imposed on those found guilty, will Ohio be on the road to becoming a just and compassionate State.


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My favorite quote

When people make you feel unwanted don't leave to make them feel sad or guilty--they won't. Leave because you no longer have a  reason to stay. Sometimes you have to be strong for yourself. What is meant to be will be good and if it isn't it wont. Love is worth fighting for but sometimes  you can't be the only one fighting. At times people need to fight for you. If they don't you just have to move on and realize what you gave them was more then they were willing to give you and more then they deserve!

My best friend sent this to me and she told me that I should take this to heart! Because there are certain people in my life that I have helped over and over again just to be slapped in the face for it! Now if I can only be strong enough to listen to this!

My best friend

I am trying so hard to be strong for you Rachel but I don't know how to make you feel any better about Ash! She is treating you like shit and I know that hurts you and I just want to shake her and make her see that she only has one mom and if something happens to you she can't undo it. I am so afraid that I am going to lose you! There is nothing on this earth that would devastate me more. You are my sister in every sense of the word and I am trying to be so strong for you! I can't make Ash not be selfish but I can be there and stand up for you because you aren't able to be. I meant what I said to you today when I said I would gladly shake her to get her to see how she is treating you even though you and i both know she could care a less. I hate the idea that you are giving your emotions to her like you are. You were doing so well and I can't stand to see you bulimic again and cutting again. I sit here and cry because I don't want to see you hurting the way you have been. You have been the one who was strong for me when Mike did what he did to me and every day I try and do that for you and every day it gets harder and harder. I won't abandon you Rachel because I can't lose the only person who means a damn to me! You are the only person I can ever consider family! I am going to give you the back bone that you have to have to turn Ash loose and let her make the mistakes that make her see you are her mom and that she can't treat you the way she does. She has to learn that just like I have had to these past  17 months. You gave me the backbone to finally make Michael face consequences for his actions. Isn't time Ash did the same? She is using you and every one sees that and so do you deep in your heart! I am so afraid that one day some one will come and tell me that you are gone and there will be nothing I can do to save you!  Stay Strong and know that I will always be there for you no matter! You believed in me when I didn't believe it myself. All I have to give you now is my strength and my courage to help you finally get well again. Because you so deserve the peace in your life that you don't have now! I love you sis I know you can do this!


I don't know what to say to you anymore. You have the attitude the size of Texas that I can't explain nor do I want to ! I am not liking you very much at the moment! I have known you since you were 9 and I have known your mom longer then that and I know how much she sacrificed for you so you could have the things you asked for and she gave you nothing but the best. I think maybe your mom was too good to you and she spoiled you too much.  You have totally destroyed your mom's emotions over the past year and I have sat by and not said one word to you. Not one word while you were telling your mom to go F herself! You didn't know I heard every word of it. If I would have said that to my mom I would not have been sitting for a year she would have blistered my butt. But you know your mom won't do it and you use it to your advantage every time. Where is the beautiful girl you used to be? Instead you have turned into a person who I don't like at all. Every time I hear you disrespect your mom you hit a very raw nerve with me. What I wouldn't give to have my mom here to just hug and talk to . You have your mom right under your nose and you take her for granted that she will always be there for you. Well Ash god forbid something happens to her what are you going to do then? You have your mom here to talk to I have to talk to mine at the cemetery. Ash I have never been so angry at someone then I am at you. You have a mom who loves you and you treat her so badly. What in the hell is wrong with you? You are do damn ugly inside you have no heart and no soul. What happened to the wonderful beautiful young woman I used to know. The one who would always help me when I would ask her to! The one who always had a beautiful smile on her face and the one who never forgot to laugh. That girl is long gone and in her place there is nothing there.  When you are older then you are now I hope you see how much you have hurt people along the way and maybe you will see that how you treat people does hurt them. No one is perfect Ash and your mom has always said that but you aren't either so you have no cause to ever treat your mom the way you do! I hope you learn that soon!

I just want the old Ash back because I miss her!

Very anxious

Tomorrow I will finally know what is going on with my neck and I may know what I have to do to fix it. I am super anxious about this because it has been a long time in coming and I know what the surgery is and the after affects of it and they scare me to death. If I have to have surgery then I am gearing myself up for the long haul in healing. I have put this off for far too long and it is time to finally do something. I hate being put to sleep and I don't wake up from anesthesia at all gracefully and to top it all off my voice will sound like a frog for a month if I have to get operated on because they operate on the vertebrae from the front of your neck.  I know what ever happens is supposed to happen but that doesn't make me less anxious about it. All I have to say is the doctor better not leave me hanging for a month before he decides because I can't stand that long of  a wait!


I forgave you for all the hideous things you did to me and our son. You got what you wanted when you divorced me. You took everything I hoped for and destroyed it but I forgave you because to do no less would be wrong on my part. You asked me if I trusted you and I can honestly say I don't and why would you think I would? You haven't made the changes in your life to make it better why would I trust one thing you say. There is way to much water under the bridge for me to ever trust one thing you do or say where I am concerned.  I am looking forward  and you aren't a part of my life anymore. I have someone else and you have suddenly told me you miss me and you wish you never divorced me? Well you did divorce me and I am so lucky you did. I don't wish you ill but I don't wish you well either. I am indifferent to you and I am okay with that. Because no matter how much you say it I didn't deserve what you did to me.

Tom be the husband to Olivia that makes her proud of you. Be a dad to all 7 of your kids and make them proud of you. You missed out on so much with michael and all I want is for him to have found the way to forgive you for that because I have. Don't ever feel bad about divorcing me because you did the best you ever could have for me.  You opened my eyes and let me see who you really were and I can honestly say you weren't the man I thought you were. I had to forgive myself before I forgave you because I felt so stupid for trusting you and falling for your crap. The longer I have healed the more I can say I forgive you and mean it. And hopefully Michael can come to that place to.

I forgave you not for your sake but mine. Do you know how much I hated you? I couldn't hate that much anymore because it ate me alive. You have no power over me any more. I am not going to let your hateful words take up space in my brain anymore. The indifference I feel for you makes me happy because I am at a place where I feel nothing at all toward you and that is where I want to be!

Nitro my reason to fight

tro was a three year old Rottweiler. Nitro, along with his sister Bella, had been a pampered, beloved part of Liz Raab and Tom Siesto's family since they were puppies.

In 2008, Nitro went for training and boarding at Steve Croley's High Caliber K-9 training facility in Youngstown OH. Tom and Liz had no reason for concern about the care he'd receive. Croley came highly recommended, and had cared for and trained dogs from all over the country. Not only had Nitro been there before, they had spent time getting to know Croley on a social basis. The kennels were clean and well-maintained, and Croley presented himself as a personable man with a great way with dogs. They were also dealing with family medical emergencies and keeping Nitro in a stable, familar environment seemed the best option for him at that time. They talked to Croley on a regular basis and were assured Nitro was doing well.

On October 22, 2008, Steve Croley's High Caliber K-9 facilities were raided. The 19 dogs he had at that time had been systematically deprived of food, water and even access to inside shelter. Of those dogs, 8 were lying dead in their kennels. One of those dead dogs was Tom and Liz's beloved Rottie, Nitro. They had entrusted Croley with the care of their 105 pound baby, a dog who had scrambled eggs for breakfast, wore handmade costumes for holidays, and had always been included in family celebrations and vacations. This is the dog they got back. 


I am trying to figure out if some relationships are worth saving or not. I haven's spoken to any of my sisters in the last year and it is really starting to wear on me. My mom and dad always thought family was super important to them and they taught us that. I have three older sisters and my baby sister we have the same dad but   different moms but we were raised not to think that way. I love all my sisters and that is why this last year has been so hard. I always thought sisters and family stuck together but they don't not when it matters not at all. I could have died at the hands of my son and when my face looked like someone ran me over with a truck not once did any of them ask me how I was. And that hurt me  but what hurt me worse was my baby sister not only didn't come see me when I was healing she bailed my son out of jail and proceeded to pay for his lawyer and she did everything she could  to get him out of trouble. She told everyone that I was at fault for what he did and I could never  understand that. I didn't  knock my self unconscious he did I didn't break my cheekbones he did. I didn't break my nose he did and I didn't give my self a concussion he did. My sister stuck up for him and because she did he didn't have to do one day in jail not one. My sister should have been there for me and instead she stood by my son the one who did it to me. And my other sisters just don't give a damn enough to find out what happened to me.. I have never felt so betrayed. I don't weather any of it is worth saving. I can't look at my sister with out getting physically ill. She wouldn't care if I lived or died. She says she is a godly christian woman but then I look at her actions over the past year and I am realizing just how much I hate her even saying that. I have totally turned away from my faith because of her and I just am hanging on and it is just so exhausting to me. Something has to give but I don't know what it is going to be. My heart can't take one more ounce of her rejection and hate and betrayal.


Another Thanksgiving without you and I am just so sad tonight! 

The 19th can't come fast enough for me

The 2 month dry spell will finally be over. Del will finally be here on the 19th and I can't wait!  He travels and travels for work and it is hard for us to see one another. He lives in Pennsylvania and I live here in Ohio.  I think we wore our phones out and our computers in the last 2 months. I am just glad he is finally going to be here because  I love him beyond measure and I miss him.  The calls and the Skype and the messengers we do are the only thing that keep me together. But as long as we do them the distance doesn't bother me so much. But if they were to stop then the distance would bother me alot.  He has given me something I haven't had in along time and that is a peace of mind that he won't hurt me and that he loves me just the way I am faults and all. I thank god everyday for a such a precious man in my life!


I am sitting here listening to the song you loved and asked us to play at your funeral. I have so many things I would love to be able to say to you face to face. 12 years is along time and every day I think about you and miss you even more. I would love to have one more conversation and one more hug from you. I miss you so much! You always were the one to love and protect me and you always told me I was going to be okay. I don't have that anymore now that dad is gone to. I so wish you would have been the one who guided mike into adulthood not sue. I wish you could have been around to see mike graduate high school. I so wish you could be around to see mike get married someday. There are so many things you missed and I hate that you had to miss them,. I hope you are with dad having a good old time. When I see you in heaven you are healthy and so is dad. That is the only thing that makes both of you being gone okay with me. I know your in a better place but dammit you went to young mom and i never understood why god had to take you so  soon!  I didn't want you to go!  There are days when I can barely stand myself I miss you so much. I though you told me  time heals all wounds but you were wrong this is something I haven't gotten over not by a long shot. The pain of you and dad dying has lessened at times it hasn't. All I know is my heart was ripped the first time when you went the second time when dad went. Mom I don't let people get too close to me because I don't want to love someone and to have them die my heart  couldn't take it.  You took a piece of my heart when you died and so did dad. But you both left something for me  that is better than anything money could buy and that is how you raised me. I could not have asked for better mom although I didn't act like I loved you when I was a teenager. I love you mom and I thank you for loving me back to health when I was so sick. You didn't have to! And I thank you for being the one who loved and protected mike. You didn't have to do that either! I could not asked for a better grandma for mike.!
                          Mom I have never said goodbye to you because I like to think of it as see you later because I will see you again one day! Love you miss you!  

JusI can't understand

I don't understand Mike at all. To lie the way he did about his own mother to get what he wants or what Sue wants is beyond imagination. He fears me hah! He was the one who almost killed me and he didn't think twice. He has sponged off of me knowing I didn't  have alot to begin with.  I don't know how I feel at this point because I think if I saw him right now I would just play into his hands so I keep quiet because I am the bigger person. I know I can never have a relationship with him when he tells the court he did nothing to me.  I just want him to be honest and finally admit how badly he hurt me. Unless he gets Sue out of his life and out of his head I can't  have  a relationship with him. That is not what I want it is what I have to do. I won't be lied about and I won't be disrespected by either one of them again. I just deserve better then that!

I have made some hugh decisions for my life and my life alone

I will never let life overwhelm me again. I have made some hugh decisions about who I want in my life and I feel so good that I have taken people  out of my life who were making my life miserable. I feel so much better then I have been in  along time. What will be will be I can't worry about what is going to happen in the future because that hasn't happened yet. All I can do is make my now happy and healthy and joy us  and if there are people in my life who don't  want to be there I am more the okay for them to have the door  hit them in the ass on the way out of my life. I want people in my life who choose to love me and be there for me. I am  not going to be a doormat for them anymore and that includes mike. I have not a thing to apologize for to any one about the situation with mike. He chose his path and I have chosen mine if the 2 paths meet someday then I will welcome him back   with open arms but until that day comes I choose to have no regrets about what I have done with him.  I am not going to let people who don't know squat about the situation  get into my head and make me feel like I was the  one who was to blame for what happened to mike. He put himself where he is and I  hope he learns the lesson that is supposed to teach him. As for me, I did all I can do for him  and now it is the Lord's hands because I finally realized that I am not supposed to be the one who fixes him. Lord knows I have tried may be I was supposed to fail at this. This situation with Mike made me look at my family or the family I have left and how they treated me and I didn't ask to be born the way I was and I didn't ask for the things to happen to me that did all I know is I deserve to be treated with respect and  this has taught me that they will never ever be a healthy part of my life and I am not going to be  treated the way they do. They will miss out on the person I am now and that is their loss not mine. I have learned that my family is not my blood but they are the ones who treat me better then any of my family of my blood does. So right now  I say good bye to all the toxic people in my life and never will I again allow them to destroy my peace of mind and my serenity.
No one has the right to take that from me ever/ 


What kind of a relationship will I have with mike now that I know I won't be able to see him for 5 years. He will be 31 years old before I will be able to see him. I am not strong enough to deal with this. Mike broke me and he doesn't care at all. I don't know what place he has in my life  and I can't imagine what the next 5 years will be like. This 4 months have been heartbreaking and I can't fathom what 5 years will feel like to me.


I don't think you understand what you did to me devastated me and has changed me and I thought I would never again have to feel the consequences of someone's violence never in a million years did I think you were the one to bring into my life again. I never thought you would be the one to do that to me knowing what your dad did to me. The verbal stuff was bad enough and made me feel like I was worthless and useless and unloved by you. But your violence has hurt so many people people who loved you and trusted you. My friends loved you and they knew something was wrong but never asked. I kept what you were doing hidden because I was ashamed you were doing it to me. I am trying to figure out what place you will have in my life after all your legal stuff is over. I am so angry at you I am glad we can't see each other now. I don't a family anymore because Sue has decided that it was okay to tell me when I was healing that  I was to blame for you almost killing me. And do you realize how close you came to doing just that? And you can't blame it all on your bipolar because you knew what you were doing that night. Your are right I should have left you with your dad but I didn't because I could not stand to see him hurt you. You have resented the fact that I did the adoption and put you with mom and dad. I did that because I knew they could provide you the type of future you should have had. Mom and dad could give it to you. Mom and Dad would have been beside themselves had they been alive to see what you did to me and what sue continues to do to me. They didn't raise you to hit a woman and they certainly didn't raise you  to hit me. I am heartbroken and very changed because of what you did to me. One day I hope you see the pics of my face and neck and know that you almost could have killed me.  And what would you have done? nothing I suppose because you didn't get help for me that night. I could have been dead for all you knew. I am your mom do hate me that much to want  me dead like you wished for me over and over. I may as well be dead to for  how you treated me. I just don't understand that and I never will.


My name is Kim. I am a Stage IV breast cancer patient. There is no cure. I am a fighter. I vow to go out on my terms. I am a mother of two beautiful teenage boys who are facing some of life's hardest challenges. I vow to be here, to see them through high school and onto their next path. Five years, i'm sure I'll want longer. God's will. I am a wife, a daughter, a sister, a cousin, an aunt and a friend. I promise to fight for you as well. My friends pain and nausea seem to be winning the battle but they will not win the war. I'll fight harder. I am a Christian. My journey home has begun. Every day must be treated as a gift. There is no going back for me. No do overs. I don't complain. I love as much as I can. I laugh as often as possible. I hug more than is possible. I want to be remembered by my smile, so I don't stop. I am blessed. My heart is full. Thank you.  

This  is what life is about! I love kimmy she is amazing and I have known her for a very long time. She knows she might not live along time she chooses to live her life  happy as she can be. Don't we all wish in times of trouble we can have her attitude.


I am just trying to understand mike and I can't. I wonder what his mind is thinking right now. I wonder if he knows how much I am hurting and suffering because of what he did to me. Does he even care about me or does he hate me. He has no clue! He knew what his dad did to me and he knew how much damage he did to me and he brought the violence into my life again. I am so angry at him and I never thought I would have that in my life again. I am not the same person I was 3 months ago and I wish I never had to see those pictures of my face. They haunt my nights and my dreams and I can't get rid of the nightmares. I am trying to be strong and feisty but there are times like now when all I can do is cry because I don't know what else to do. I am strong on the outside  about ready to fall apart on the inside. I can't believe I have to say that I am so afraid of mike because it shouldn't have to be that way. I just want to feel normal again. How long is it going tot take this time to get back to myself

Mixed Emotions

I am not  the same person at all since Mike hurt me. I have become more skittish and afraid of being any where other then my house. I have a lot of emotions that are so mixed it isn't funny. I am trying to deal with the overwhelming sense of betrayal that I feel about mike and what he did to me. There is nothing funny about what he did to me. I lost my entire family over this and all because I am doing the right thing. My head tells me it is the right thing to do but my heart is not saying the same thing. I am so heartbroken over this because I don't think I will ever  have the relationship I desire with him. Because I am thinking he broke it beyond repair and I hate to say that because before I never gave up on him but I think this time I am going to have to do that for my sanity and my physical health. I don't know how to let my feelings out about this because I am afraid of who I will spew on and I don't want to hurt anyone. My dr. told me to take a journal and write Mike letters so he could see them one day/ and she said I had to sit with my anger and let it come up because I am not letting it and it is hurting me emotionally and she doesn't want to see it hurt me this way. I know he was arrested yesterday and I just don't know what to think at all. I am so angry and I am so pissed at him that I want to hurt him the way he hurt me but at the same time I can't do it because no matter what he is still my son. I hurt immensely over this because I don't have my son anymore and I don't have my sister. Who in the hell is there for me? No one that should love me. The betrayal is so immense. How do I go on after that? I am trying so hard to smile and be okay but I am not. I  wish people would understand that this isn't easy for me. I am not strong enough to go through this turmoil again. I have been the one who has always been there for mike and this is what he does to me.   I am numb and I am trying to figure out how to just go on from this. I hurt so much over this and I can't begin to tell people how I feel. I can't begin to figure out where mike got the idea that it is okay to  lay his hands on me.. 
                            I  don't know I have tried to just be okay with all of this and go on and be strong but guess what even I have a breaking point and I have finally have reached it. It is has taken such a toll on me emotionally that I am not sure how to heal this sense of anger and sadness and pain.  When I saw the pics of my face for the first time  a couple of weeks ago it overwhelmed me. The perfect handprints on my neck made me realize how close he came to killing me and why didn't he just do it. I just don't know!


I know your doctor wants me to  tell you how I am feeling but I am having a hard time doing it because alot of  very uncomfortable feelings are coming to the surface and I don't want them to  and it is killing me. I just don't know how to tell you how much you hurt me. I am afraid you won't want to hear what I have to say and you will do what you always do and that is either cuss me out or shut down. That scares me.  Because I don't want to have you shut down on me and have you never talk to me. I am so afraid that we will never be healed because you don't want us to be. Mike, as angry as I am at you right now doesn't mean I don't want to try. I have sat for days trying to figure out what was in your head that night and why you stopped choking me because you could have easily  killed me but you didn't why?   I don't  know why you did any of that.  I don't know how to feel mike it overwhelms me at times the anger the sadness. Because you didn't just hurt me physically you have hurt me emotionally and that is what is making me so heartbroken right now. I never thought I would have to protect myself from you of all people. I thought tom was the one I had to protect myself from and now you I can't even begin to tell  what they feels like. I should not have to protect my self from someone who I gave everything in the world to and yet you took it for granted. I let  you out of  alot of misplaced guilt for not being  able to take care of you when you were younger. And you knew that and you did everything you could to use that to your advantage. But it should never have come to you thinking it was okay to hurt me the way you did. I wish you could see what you did to me. not the pics you saw from the hospital but the ones Rachel took when I was staying with her. I don't think you realize how much physical damage you did to me. I just saw those pics recently for the first time and it shook me to the core of my being.  I never ever thought you could be  so cold and mean and cruel. I don't know what to do now. Do I walk away from you and have it break me emotionally or do I stay and try to heal us. I don't know if I am ever going to be strong enough to sit across from you and not be scared of you. I love you and this is why all of this hurts me so much! Maybe one day  I can only hope  that you become the young man you used to be.

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Previous Posts
Why I rescue, posted February 20th, 2014
The whole story of Nitro, posted April 5th, 2013
My favorite quote, posted March 30th, 2013
My best friend, posted March 2nd, 2013
??????, posted February 20th, 2013, 1 comment
Very anxious, posted January 29th, 2013
Forgiveness, posted December 20th, 2012
Nitro my reason to fight, posted December 7th, 2012
?????, posted December 6th, 2012
mommy, posted November 21st, 2012
The 19th can't come fast enough for me, posted October 31st, 2012
Mommy, posted April 21st, 2012
JusI can't understand, posted February 24th, 2012
I have made some hugh decisions for my life and my life alone, posted February 17th, 2012
???????, posted February 3rd, 2012
Mike, posted February 3rd, 2012
Kimmy, posted January 24th, 2012, 2 comments
??????, posted January 24th, 2012
Mixed Emotions, posted January 20th, 2012
Mike, posted January 13th, 2012
I am so very blessed, posted January 12th, 2012
what am I gonna do, posted January 8th, 2012
I will only have people in my life who want me in theirs, posted January 6th, 2012
I am very hopeful for the new year, posted December 30th, 2011
?????, posted December 15th, 2011
My family isn't blood, posted December 9th, 2011
I am in a playful mood, posted December 8th, 2011
?????, posted December 6th, 2011
Just got back from the doctor, posted December 5th, 2011
Mommy, posted December 5th, 2011
Chris, posted December 3rd, 2011
Where is love?, posted December 2nd, 2011, 1 comment
My blessings, posted December 1st, 2011
??????, posted November 25th, 2011
A letter to mom another one, posted November 12th, 2011
What I don't show others very often, posted November 5th, 2011
my son abused me, posted October 6th, 2011
I am so stressed, posted September 12th, 2011
Who Am I, posted August 27th, 2011
I feel so much better about myself, posted August 13th, 2011
4 years already, posted August 2nd, 2011
4 years already, posted August 2nd, 2011
I am a proud to be a Republican, posted July 14th, 2011
I miss you my friend, posted June 26th, 2011
Forgiveness not so much, posted June 23rd, 2011
Dad, posted June 19th, 2011
25 things people don't know about me., posted June 18th, 2011
I am such a fool, posted June 13th, 2011
Why I was a refuser my point of view, posted June 6th, 2011, 1 comment
I just don't know you anymore, posted May 23rd, 2011
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